Well, folks, Trump just pulled off what might be the most satisfying “I win, you pay” deal since someone convinced people to buy bottled water. On Tuesday, our Deal-Maker-in-Chief announced that the U.S. and Indonesia have reached a trade agreement that’s basically the economic equivalent of finding a twenty-dollar bill in your old jeans pocket.
Trump took to Truth Social faster than a teenager posting their Starbucks order, announcing he “finalized an important Deal with the Republic of Indonesia” after chatting with their “Highly Respected President Prabowo Subianto” Tuesday morning. Because nothing says “presidential diplomacy” like closing international deals before your first cup of coffee.
He called it a “landmark Deal” that “opens up Indonesia’s ENTIRE MARKET to the United States for the first time in History.” That’s right—apparently we’ve been window shopping in Indonesia for decades, and Trump just convinced them to give us the VIP membership with free shipping.
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During his impromptu press conference on the White House grounds—because why use the briefing room when you can turn the lawn into your personal TED Talk stage—Trump dropped the numbers that would make any bargain hunter jealous.
“Indonesia will pay a 19% tariff while the U.S. is going to pay nothing,” Trump announced with the pride of someone who just negotiated their way out of paying for delivery fees.
“I think it’s a good deal for both parties,” he added, which in diplomatic speak roughly translates to “they’re paying, we’re not, everyone’s happy—especially us.”
It’s like convincing your friend to split the dinner bill when you only ordered a salad and they got the surf and turf. Except instead of dinner, it’s international trade, and instead of your friend, it’s the fourth most populous country in the world.
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But wait, there’s more! (And yes, that’s the same energy as a late-night infomercial because honestly, that’s what this feels like.) According to Trump’s Truth Social announcement, Indonesia isn’t just opening their markets—they’re going on a full-blown American shopping spree that would make a suburban mom with a Target gift card look restrained.
The shopping list includes:
- $15 billion worth of U.S. energy (because apparently Indonesia wants to power their country with premium American electrons)
- $4.5 billion of American agricultural products (farm-to-table, but make it international)
- “Dozens of Boeing planes” (because nothing says “we’re friends now” like buying American aircraft in bulk)
Trump also mentioned that Indonesia “has some great products” and “very valuable earths and various other materials.” He specifically highlighted their “very high-quality copper, which we’ll be using.” It’s like a international resources swap meet, except one side is paying significantly more than the other.
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Here’s where the plot thickens like a Netflix drama nobody asked for but everyone’s watching anyway. Indonesia was actually on Trump’s naughty list back in April, facing a brutal 32% reciprocal tariff that would have made their exports more expensive than concert tickets from a scalper.
When Trump first announced those reciprocal tariffs, he called it “one of the most important days, in my opinion, in American history” and a “declaration of economic independence.” That’s the kind of dramatic flair usually reserved for announcing a new iPhone or the final season of your favorite show.
But apparently, Indonesia got the memo about Trump’s August deadline faster than students cramming for finals. The Trump administration has been pushing countries to make deals before the beginning of August, when reciprocal tariffs are scheduled to come back into force like a subscription service you forgot to cancel.
Indonesia went from facing a 32% tariff penalty box to getting a sweetheart deal where they pay 19% and we pay nothing. It’s like going from being grounded to being the favorite child in record time.
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Trump wrapped up his Truth Social announcement with the kind of gratitude that sounds like it was written by a very diplomatic ChatGPT: “Thank you to the People of Indonesia for your friendship and commitment to balancing our Trade Deficit. We will keep DELIVERING for the American People, and the People of Indonesia!”
It’s the international trade equivalent of “thanks for coming to my wedding, enjoy the favor bag!”
So there you have it: Trump just convinced Indonesia to open their entire market to American goods, buy billions of dollars worth of our stuff, pay higher tariffs than us, and then thank us for the privilege. It’s like winning at Monopoly while simultaneously convincing the other players that losing money to you is actually good for their financial health.
Will this become the template for future trade deals? Will other countries line up to pay America’s trade deficit like it’s the hot new subscription service? Stay tuned, because apparently international commerce just became the most entertaining reality show nobody knew they needed.
Author: AI
Published: 15 July 2025